


Can't See The End

by miniwoozi



Series: jigyu ?? [1]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: "WHERE'S YOUR TAG?!" -Kim Mingyu, Angst, I dont know how to tag, Im warning you, M/M, ay speaking of ailee, her song Feelin' is good heyy, hungyu, im so sad rn wth gosh, jigyu - Freeform, sad end, sorry bye, ugh i cannot, woozi helped compose that as well
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-29
Updated: 2016-10-29
Packaged: 2018-08-27 17:39:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8410573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miniwoozi/pseuds/miniwoozi
Summary: Jihoon was tired of all of this, he didn't know what kept him going anymore. And then he met Kim Mingyu.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [miniwoozi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/miniwoozi/gifts).



> one time i was so upset and empty then i listened to 끝이 안보여, and here it was, the creation of a new jigyu short fic
> 
> ☆．。．:*･° i love jigyu + i'm sorry ☆．。．:*･°
> 
> i hope you enjoy it !!! (●o’∪`o)ノ―♪`*.+

_A/N: You can also listen to Can't See The End as you're reading this + lines from the song are here and they're italicized._

 

* * *

**I**

Let's see. Lee Jihoon, of course, he loved to write music. Of course, he loved his job. It's his passion, a stress reliever, his best friend. But there are those days, where instead of composing; he would blank out, staring at the wall for what seemed like forever.

He started to do that. He also started to lose sleep, his appetite, and he felt empty inside.

It was hard for him, so hard to carry the responsibility his parents gave to him. He is the composer of the LL Entertainment, also a solo artist. It was so exhausting, to have to write music for debuting groups (and other groups) to use. At first it was fun, but we all know that too much of everything is bad.

When he began writing, it was a good start, the music he wrote flew well, and after a few hours his lyric composition will be done. The next thing he would do is start the arrangement and add vocals and effects, here and there. It was amazing.

That was before. Suddenly, the tables have turned. Now, he'd stay in the studio until after midnight, or even longer, because he had no idea what to write, because he wanted to avoid his parents asking "How's the song you've been working on?", and he didn't know exactly what to do.  No one knew about his situation. He never told anyone, nor gave a hint of it. He's breaking down. From the top, he's pulling himself to the bottom.

_Truthfully, no, actually, it was really hard_

_At the thought that I suffered alone and that there was no one who could listen to my secret, it made me want to cry_

_This reality, it makes me want to cry_.

 

**II**

 His father enters the studio where he sat in front of the piano. In his dad's eyes, his son did well to live up to his expectations. But in reality, Jihoon was banging his head and fingers on the keys, wanting to cry, ten minutes ago.

"You're doing well, Jihoon." the composer heard from his father, who he loved long ago. Now, he just felt empty. He felt like he's caged. He pressed the keys softly then successfully-and unexpectedly- made up a new melody.

"By the way, there's a new artist you're going to work with." his father remarked while he played the melody, then it caused him to press a wrong key. A wrong note. Just like how he felt, he felt like a note that was wrong for the melody, and therefore didn't belong there.

 

**III**

He still isn't finished on his compositions, but his father is already introducing him to a new project. How fun.

"This is Kim Mingyu," his father showed the tall figure, who wore a light blue collared, top and black slacks. His name didn't ring a bell to Jihoon. "He's a new solo artist."

"Pleasure to meet you," the taller bowed and reached out to shake Jihoon's hand. "Lee Jihoon."

The guy is kind, Jihoon thought. But more projects meant more stress, and he preferred to work alone. And he felt uncomfortable with the taller, since Mingyu is way taller than him, and somehow, yes, Jihoon felt uncomfortable at just the sight of the man.

 

 

**IV**

"Jihoon hyung," Mingyu enters the studio to the elder's surprise. The younger brought a paper bag and Jihoon smelled food coming from it. The composer hummed in response, clicking the mouse buttons as he edited the song on the computer screen.

"Here's food, please eat it." Mingyu hands over the bag to Jihoon and sat beside the older.

Jihoon opened the bag and saw a hamburger and soda inside. He unwrapped the food and took a bite, settling it on the table.

"Had you eaten?" Jihoon asked the younger, never looking away from the screen. He just wanted Mingyu to leave, so he'll be at peace.

"Yes, I had," Mingyu replied, looking at the screen Jihoon stared at. Damn it.

Jihoon just nodded, and then continued to pretend he's working.

_Of course I act like nothing's wrong and why won't I be able to_

 

**V**

Jihoon can't finish the song he's writing. He just can't. He is a perfectionist, and felt something missing on Mingyu's song.

"Mingyu, I can't finish it. Help me." Jihoon sent the voicemail to the younger. He didn't want to seem pitiful and weak, but he still asked for help. Maybe if Mingyu's song was done, he would disappear and his stress would decrease.

"Hm, let me hear it," Mingyu begged when the older refused again and again. He felt uncomfortable to let Mingyu hear the draft version of the song. He didn't know why.

"Please, you told me to help you, how can I help you if you won't let me hear it?"

"Then don't help me."

 

"I want to help you, hyung. You've been stuck here 24/7 and it scares me already. I'm worried about you." Mingyu pleaded, it was true. It's been four weeks he's working on the song, not emerging from the studio. He only went to the restroom to bathe and do his business, but apart from that, he hasn't returned home, or ate a proper meal and sleep. Not at all. The sleep he would get are small naps then he'd wake up, worrying and panicking about the song.

There, he pressed play and the music went to Mingyu's hearing. He listened wide-eyed, fascinated at the amazing sound.

"It's ama--" Mingyu commented but Jihoon cut him off.

"Listen first." Jihoon interrupted. Mingyu hasn't heard the song completely yet.

What Mingyu was supposed to say is true. It is amazing. The song is amazing. It made him want to cry for he helped Jihoon compose it.

"Oh god, it's amazing."  Mingyu sobbed slightly. His emotions were too much at the moment.

Jihoon didn't expect that Mingyu would cry, and just comforted the younger awkwardly.

"I don't think it is," Jihoon admitted as he rubbed circles on the younger's back.

Mingyu looked at him in disbelief, shocked.

"It is. I think they will love it."

 Jihoon just nodded at the statement, but still wasn't convinced.

Mingyu hugged him tightly, and then Jihoon groaned but was too lazy to escape. As Mingyu tried to stifle his hiccups, Jihoon passed out on his arms.

 

**VI**

Jihoon dreamt of space. He dreamt of anywhere else far away from the place where he felt stressed and tired. He wanted to go outside the planet, somewhere far away.

"He passed out from over exhaustion." Jihoon woke up hearing that statement, his eyes blurry and he blinked several times to remove the fuzziness. He was in a hospital room, and there Mingyu and his mother were, standing and listening to the doctor. They looked worried.

"Will he be okay?" Mingyu asked, not noticing the finally awake figure.

"Of course," the doctor nodded and glanced at Jihoon's direction. "He's finally awake."

Jihoon's mother sighed in relief and took her son's hand. "I'm glad you're awake."

 

Jihoon thought, that even if Jihoon was tired and overworked, his mother would still be glad.

 

"You shouldn't overwork him for a while; his body is very tired and needs rest," the doctor comments and nods to leave the room, giving them privacy.

Jihoon stayed quiet. He didn't like where he was. He was with two people who bothered him. His mother and, well, Mingyu.

 

**VII**

 

Jihoon rested in the care of Mingyu, even if it was completely against his will.

The older was fed well, was sang to sleep and taken care of by Mingyu. The song wasn't out yet, which makes Jihoon feel uneasy. He wasn't allowed to go back to the studio just yet.

 

"What do you want to eat, hyung?" Mingyu asked, placing his chin on top of his palm. He looked at Jihoon, waiting for a response.

"Anything is fine." Jihoon muttered, not looking at Mingyu even once. He didn't even know why this boy is being too nice to him. He admitted already to himself though, that Mingyu cooks well.

 

Mingyu was too nice too him already. Yes, Mingyu knows why he does this.

No matter how intimidating the composer is, Mingyu just can't find himself separated from the other.

He cooked better meals for the older than for his younger sister. He has no idea why, but somehow he felt a sense of achievement from it.

Jihoon sat on the table at the balcony, and stared out to the buildings in the city view. He thought it was beautiful, but only to his eyes.

 

**VIII**

 

Mingyu hummed a lullaby to the older, while Jihoon pretends to be sleepy. He swears, he's been better in acting these days.

"Mingyu...” Jihoon mumbled softly, Mingyu barely heard him.

"Hmm?"

"Why...Do you take...care of me?" Jihoon started to feel sleepy, and stifled his yawn. Mingyu thought it was cute.

"Uh...” Mingyu didn't know how to answer the older. He felt a blush creep on his cheeks. It was dark enough for the smaller not to notice the blush, Mingyu rejoiced at the thought. "I don't..know."

"Mmhm, please..publish the song," Jihoon covered his mouth and yawned. "P-please sleep, too."

Jihoon was quite different today, Mingyu noticed. He waited for Jihoon to sleep, and finally worked on letting the song Jihoon wrote to be published.

 

**IX**

Jihoon was contacted by his friend, Jisoo, asking if the lyrics were grammatically correct. The composer read the message, and then typed to a reply the words he thought needed changing. He's still banned from the studio, and somehow, it was okay with him.

Mingyu's song was finally released, and he felt relieved. The reviews and remarks about the new song were okay, and Jihoon just realized then that this low voiced man actually sounded good singing.

Jihoon still struggled, his father kept on asking about his health and when he'll return to the studio. Somehow, he just wanted his health to fail, and never go back to the studio again.

 

 _...my eyes that lost their focus, where to go_...

 

He wanted to leave. He doesn't know what's keeping him here anymore.

 

**X**

 

The days passed, the passion already disappearing.

 

Mingyu didn't bother him at all anymore, as he got used to the feeling of it.

He got used to his father, always nagging to him whenever they talk on the phone.

He got used to his mother, who gave him a half smile, who looked like she pitied her only son. Like she underestimated Jihoon.

 

_Where has the original side of me gone? What am I chasing every day?_

 

On the other half, Mingyu got used to cooking for Jihoon.

Mingyu got used to the praise he got from his family and friends.

Mingyu got used to taking care of the older. He felt happy as he realized these. What he hasn't realized yet is that he has fallen in love with Jihoon.

 

**XI**

 

Jihoon finally was allowed to go back to the studio.

While on his break, he wrote songs and now he can make them to music. Finally. Then, Mingyu was drifting away and avoiding him, which was totally alright with him.

 

He was able to finish two compositions in one day. He felt the energy come back, but the passion remained weak. His passion was like fire, fighting in the middle of a cold winter night. His heart still felt empty, but heavy.

 

_I've forgotten how to run towards anything._

 

"Thank you, Jihoon. The track is great." Ailee commented after he handed over a disc to the female. He wrote another song for the artist, and it made him happy for just awhile.

 

* * *

 

Jihoon was busy, finishing editing new tracks when his phone buzzed. He checked on it and saw that Mingyu sent him a message.

 

**_From: Kim Mingyu_ **

_Hello! How are you? I listened to the track you wrote for Ailee, it sounds good._

 

He ignored the text and continued on his work, and then his phone buzzed again.

 

**_From: Kim Mingyu_ **

_Hyung, I miss taking care of you._

 

Jihoon typed out a reply.

He typed quickly,

**_To: Kim Mingyu_ **

_Then maybe you shouldn't have taken care of me so you won't miss it._

 

But, he didn't send it; he just erased the draft and put his phone on silent.

 

**XII**

 

Mingyu went to visit the older in the studio, for it never replied to his messages and Mingyu was very worried.

 

"Hyung, is that you?" Mingyu peeked through the crack he opened on the door. He saw a figure, wearing headphones.

He went inside quietly, and when he realized it was Jihoon, he grabbed the composer to a hug.

 

"W-what the?! Mingyu?"

 

Mingyu was hit by the smaller, but he continued on hugging Jihoon and he absorbed the scent of the composer. He smelled like coffee, and fabric softener.

 

"I missed you, hyung." Mingyu said after he pulled away from Jihoon. The older tried to escape from his hug, but failed.

Jihoon didn't say anything. There were only sounds of the mouse clicking.

 

"Hyuuung." Mingyu groaned. He didn't know how to capture the attention of the older; he was so busy on the computer. Mingyu felt sad, but he didn't lose hope.

 

_I can't see the end, please leave me alone._

 

"Jihoon hyung, I like you a lot," Mingyu sang childishly, which pissed Jihoon off slightly. He had to calm his temper.

 

"Ugh. What the hell." Jihoon groaned, his arms hitting the air then his lap. He thought that he got used to Mingyu bothering him, but this is too much.

 

Mingyu placed his hand on Jihoon's chin and turned it to let the older face him. Jihoon looked frustrated and pissed, but then Mingyu's eyes rest on the elder’s lips.

 

The younger kissed Jihoon, softly at the beginning then it went rough slowly. Jihoon was pushing him away, but Mingyu just can't. He didn't want to let go.

Obviously, Jihoon didn't kiss him back, and it hurt him. But he'd do a thing like _wait_ until Jihoon would feel the same for him.

Jihoon punched him on the face, hard but not hard enough to make him bleed, but maybe his face got swollen. Then Jihoon went straight out of the studio. Stupid idea, Mingyu.

 

**XIII**

 

Jihoon cried that night, but returned to the studio. He felt relieved when he entered the empty room. No sign of anyone (Mingyu).

 

_I can't see the end, the obvious words “be strong” it doesn't feel the same, why am I so desperate_

 

Jihoon finished the remaining tracks he had to do that night. He sent them to its artists, and then turned off the studio equipments when he was done. He left the building. He didn't even bring his phone with him; he left it in the studio, in silent, under his table.

 

**XIV**

 

Jihoon went missing after twenty four hours.

He received random messages, and missed calls, but of course he wouldn't know about those.

**_From: Kim Mingyu_ **

_I'm sorry about what I did, please...Let me explain._

 

**_From: Kim Mingyu_ **

_I'm sorry._

**_From: Jisoo_ **

_Hey man, where are you?_

**_From: Kim Mingyu_ **

_What, where are you? You're not in the studio; it's been 24 hours, Jihoon hyung._

 

 ** _Missed calls:_** (12) _Mrs. Lee_ , (19) _Kim Mingyu_ , (8) _Jisoo,_ (2) _Seungcheol_

 

_Even if I don't know where to go, those stars from far away pull me in I can feel it, I can feel it_

_I can feel that I'm able to become a ray of light_

 

**XV**

 Mingyu doesn't know where Jihoon had gone. It had been a week; they looked for the composer, but to no hints or evidences. There was no body, so the older couldn't be dead. Yes, he was hurt by Jihoon the last time they saw each other. All he could do is blame himself and also wonder if Jihoon ran away from him, or everything. _(Jihoon himself had no idea, too, where his soul went)_ But there he was, in the elder’s studio, _waiting_ for Jihoon to come back. _Waiting_ for Jihoon to feel the same about him, to fall in love with him; because that would make Jihoon come back.

 

_Jihoon couldn't see the end, so he decided to end it himself._

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> do i write a sequel?   
> i wonder if this will actually get hits at all since im still quite wrecked from writing this  
> and i feel like how jihoon felt in this fic lmao
> 
> (Comments, upvotes, requests, whatsoevers are highly appreciated!)
> 
> i hope you enjoyed. if u cried well *hands over a box of tissues*


End file.
